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Somebody said u was lookin' fo me, hear ah go!

It's been a long time....back now. Did ya miss me.

I just haven't felt like blogging so I thought Id take a break but I hadn't realised its been so long.


So, on today, a day when I need something else to focus on, because of this this.

With that said, I'm recovering from surgery, I'm in pain and I'm aggravated, (glad you came back here yet? LOL). Every. Single. Thing. is working on my nerves.  I didn't want to leave, Mr Angie did. We stayed. Hope it was the right call.

 Mr. Angie is under the weather, the Little Man is under the weather and the weather over us is UGLY.

Not The New Me

I found out some good news recently. I'm the new me!

Let me explain, recently I reconnected with a friend from my past. I had been estranged from this person for about 6 years. The break in our friendship was extremely hard for me. Our relationship had become toxic, and it was killing me. I was depressed, confused, sad, tired, and numb - all at once.

Now, let me be clear.....I don't think she was trying to kill me per say. But, she was killing me, because I was letting her. It was a co-dependent relationship, based on guilt, drama, and immaturity. Because of my own issues being friends with this person was the perfect recipe for disaster. I'm a caretaker. I try to fix everything.....make nice.....keep the peace. It's just who I am. It's what I learned to do as a child to deal with a dysfunctional home. But, in my adult life my propensity to put others needs and wants before my own became my undoing.

So, I put a stop to it. Well, let me be honest - I had to put a stop to "it" because I had began planning to put a stop to myself.  I got up, got away, got help and got on with it. And that shit was hard! The hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But it was worth it.

So when this old friend started exhibiting some of the same behaviours that drew me in and under in the past, I saw it for what it was. I'm not blaming her. She's a good person as people go. She just has unrealistic expectations of me - and she has no problem laying those expectations out. In the past I would try any way I could to do what was expected of me, and ignore my churning insides. I'd feel beholden to do what she asked of me because of things she'd done for me.

Well, no more. Not now. Not the new me.

I said, "No" The sun continued to shine, the Earth didn't swallow me up, hell, my stomach didn't even churn. I felt some kinda way about her asking, but more like "da hell?" than like "oh Lord, what am I gonna do."

And you know what!? She took the "No", and kept it moving. She met the new me.

To Do List

I tend to lose focus on things I need to do for myself. So ever so often I need to remind myself. Here goes!

1.  Stop reading EveryBodyElses damn blog every single day.
2.  Write on your own blogs more often.
3.  Take 30 minutes for yourself EVERYDAY.
4.  Go to church.
5.  Trim your split ends.
6.  Finish Work on one of your projects.
7.  Make a date with Mr Angie (get a baby-sitter)

That's enough.

Say My Name, Say My Name......

Did you know that somewhere someone is calling you by a moniker that is not your own? They may even be referring to you by the clothes you wear, your hairstyle or the car you drive. Sometimes they know your real name sometimes they don’t.

One of my friend’s moved to a new neighborhood a few years ago. Her next door neighbor is fair skinned black guy with long wavy black hair that he wears in two pony tails down his back. So we named him Pocahontas…….you see the connection. We’ve even shortened it to just “Poke.” It’s gotten so bad my friend’s husband called him Poke to his face. It just slipped out, “Hey Poke, what’s up?” LOL The guy never even noticed.

In college one of my friends had a crush on a guy, but we didn’t know his name so we called him “Maxima Man” because he drove a Maxima. I don’t think we ever found out his real name because he had no interest in my friend. at. all.  Latter we found out we should’ve been calling him “Gay Maxima Man.”

There was also a really tall skinny guy who lived in the dorm next dorm. We called him “Noodle Man.” When we saw the really tall skinny girl he was dating, we dubbed her “Noodle Woman.”

Someone else I know was kind of dating a guy who was about fifteen years her senior. We referred to him as “Old Fella.” She’d say, “I went to eat bar-b-que with Old Fella last night” and we thought nothing of it.

It’s really easy to slip up and call someone by their nickname to their face. So be careful. And if someone says “Hi” to you and there’s a weird tag attached to it……you just found out your nickname.    “Hi, Perch Lips!”

Crazy Pink Guns!

Recently MyKiddo and I were talking about the possibility of me and Mr. Angie purchasing a gun.....safety issues, size, etc.  She suggested I buy a pink gun. Now, I'm pretty feminine and all that. However. A gun is not a barrette! It's a freakin' gun! Only you and the person you're about to shoot are gonna see it, right? I mean you don't wear it on a necklace or attach it to your key chain.

I want my gun to fit my hand and be reliable. Period. They can save the pink paint money and give me some free bullets.  

Make it Clap for Me!!!!

Everybody wants to feel valued and understood. Some of us need it more than others. I think they call it "high maintenance." I need my gifts and talents acknowledged on a regular basis.....always have. When I don't get that "stroke", I start to feel kinda antsy. Not in a nervous way, in a "let me do this trick in front of a new audience kind of way."  I'm a sucker for applause, what can I say.

Well my present audience members care more about getting their shitty diapers changed, having clean uniforms for work, and living  with their boyfriends. Baby Beaux, Mr. Angie, and MyKiddo.

 Well yesterday a friend of mine clapped for me. He was entertained by something I wrote and he texted me to say so. That one atta-girl helped me remember I'm more than a diaper changer, a uniform washer etc.

Thank you Lone Clapper......you have always managed to remind me of who I am.

Outside Children?

If your father was married and had a family when he got your mom pregnant, do you consider yourself an outside child? Do you tell other people about your situation? How do you feel about your dads kids from his marriage? How do they feel about you?

I'm dealing with a situation similar to this one, and I'd like to know what some other people think?